


At least 45%

by syntaxanalyzer



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Angel Kim Junmyeon | Suho, Angel/Demon Relationship, Demon Park Chanyeol, M/M, Philosophy, Supernatural and Good Omens did this to me, They just talk, i dont know why i wrote this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:06:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25202917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syntaxanalyzer/pseuds/syntaxanalyzer
Summary: "Why do you live?" Junmyeon asks Chanyeol.
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	At least 45%

“Why do you live?” Junmyeon asks Chanyeol.

Chanyeol who is busy staring at the horizon, turns and looks at him with a comical expression “Are you slipping into another one of your philosophical reveries? If so, I’ll leave.”

“I’m just … I don’t know …. “ Junmyeon hesitates. This time Chanyeol looks at him with sudden seriousness as he asks “What’s going on in your head?”

As an angel, Junmyeon had always believed that ‘God had a plan’ and all he had to do was follow God’s will. There was no doubt before. He did his assignments big or small with all his heart. He completed the tasks assigned to him by his supervisors without any questions. He obeyed when they had told him to stay away from demons. But then all changed when he fell in love with Chanyeol, a demon.

He knows Chanyeol loves him. He will never accept it out loud but even he knows that Chanyeol loves him more than Junmyeon ever could.

Junmyeon’s mind is a mess. He knows that if they get caught they will kill him. No, killing him would be an easy punishment. They won’t be that merciful. But still he keeps meeting Chanyeol in secret. He lies to his fellow angels about his detours. He tries to convince himself that he can have this happiness. But he knows deep down that they can’t avoid the inevitable. So he wants to make most of these stolen moments.

At the same time, he can’t help himself from thinking if he is making a mistake. He is not scared of what would happen if they get caught. He is scared of deviating from the morals and principles that he has long lived by.

“I mean, there was always this purpose. I had believed that my duty of fulfilling God’s will is what I wanted to do too. But now, I don’t know. I don’t know what I want anymore. So shed some insight on how demons view life? ” Junmyeon finally says.

Chanyeol can understand what Junmyeon is thinking. He had had the same thoughts when he fell from heaven. He was an angel once. It has been centuries but he does remember the emptiness he had felt after the fall. So he knows that there truly is nothing he can say or offer to make Junmyeon feel better. He himself sometimes doesn’t understand the point of his life. Manipulating vulnerable people’s minds. Planting doubtful, negative thoughts. Encouraging vengeance. Though he never goes overboard and his handiworks are always a little petty, he knows that a few cases have gone wrong. People have lost their lives. Hard acquired virtues have been lost. He may convince himself that he is not the one who is entirely responsible for the decisions they make and that only the weak minded give in, but he knows that he did play an important role. Why did he do these things? Initially, it was because he had been upset about being banished from heaven and wanted revenge. But now, this has become a habit.

He himself misses heaven sometimes. But there was a reason he fell. He couldn’t stand by the rules and so called principles blindly. His pride had not allowed him to accept or surrender. So he had defied and as a result got himself banished. So he can understand to some extent what Junmyeon feels now, the doubts, the questions, the dilemma. What Junmyeon will go through if he acts on these doubts, questions them, defies them.

Chanyeol also feels that he is responsible for the angel feeling this way. In their initial encounters, Chanyeol made fun of the blind obedience of angels. Junmyeon had argued back with so much conviction that Chanyeol made it his goal to convince the angel otherwise. But now that Junmyeon has started questioning his beliefs, Chanyeol can’t ignore the fact that he once again played the demon and planted doubts in Junmyeon’s head. Would it have been better, if he had just let the little angel live in his small bubble?

Instead Chanyeol says “Honestly I don’t have any life goal. I just live one day at a time.”

He sees that Junmyeon is still not convinced. So he decides to elaborate or is he trying to assure himself? He slings his arm around Junmyeon pulling him close and says with a sigh “I know what you feel Junmyeon. I felt it too. But I chose a path that you wouldn’t want to. Did I have a purpose back then? Yes, but I don’t think it was noble or good. Do I have a purpose now? Not exactly. But I’m not being forced to do anything. Right or wrong ( Mostly wrong ) but those decisions are my own.”

“How…?” that is all Junmyeon could ask. He doesn’t even know what he wants to know. Chanyeol continues “For immortals like us it seems excruciating to live a life with no intent. But trust me. Life is not always about the big things. It’s a million small things strung together. Let's try to make those small things memorable. Maybe we don’t have a life goal but life was never a competition in the first place. You don’t need to have a goal. It’s not a race, but a journey.” Chanyeol is no more sure if he is assuring Junmyeon or himself. Saying it out loud, hearing himself, he feels better. He thinks to himself maybe he does enjoy spouting philosophy at twilight more than he likes to admit. Maybe Junmyeon and Chanyeol are not as different as he thought. An angel and a demon, he thought them to be two entirely different people and had doubted how it would work out between them. But now he understands they are not that different, similar souls at different stages of life.

Having spoken too much, Chanyeol tries to lighten the mood. He knows that this is way too cheesy but he likes to watch Junmyeon blush so says anyway “As for why do I live? You, I think I can accept the idea of living for you.” This earns him a smack but still Junmyeon finally smiles.

“Is that so?” he asks teasingly. Chanyeol pretends to think and says “Okay, maybe 45% of my life is for you.” And that earns him a hit to his arm. It stings a little. Chanyeol takes this opportunity to steal a kiss.

Junmyeon turns his gaze away and whispers “Maybe it’s not a bad idea to live for each other. At least 45%.” He decides to enjoy the moment for the time being.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this late at night and that shows. This is my first time attempting to write in this fandom so any suggestions, tips to improve, constructive criticism are most welcome.


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